Lord’s Day Hymn

A song written by a brother many, many years ago – over three hundred years ago – that the Lord blessed me to learn in 2006.
He brought it to memory and blessed me tremendously late last week, and continues to use its words to bless me as we begin this week before us and I feel and see the Lord Jesus’ Hand at work in my life personally, and in my family.


If thou but suffer God to guide thee
And hope in Him through all thy ways,
He’ll give thee strength, whate’er betide thee,
And bear thee through the evil days.
Who trust in God’s unchanging love
Builds on the rock that naught can move.

What can these anxious cares avail thee
These never ceasing moans and sighs?
What can it help if thou bewail thee
O’er each dark moment as it flies?
Our cross and trials do but press
The heavier for our bitterness.

Be patient and await His leisure
In cheerful hope, with heart content
To take whatever thy Father’s pleasure
And His discerning love hath sent,
Nor doubt our inmost want are known
To Him who chose us for His own.

God knows full well when time of gladness
Shall be the needful thing for thee.
When He has tried thy soul with sadness
And from all guile has found thee free,
He comes to thee all unaware
And makes thee own His loving care.

Nor think amid the fiery trial
That God hath cast thee off unheard,
That he whose hopes meet no denial
Must surely be of God preferred.
Time passes and much change doth bring
And set a bound to everything.

All are alike before the Highest:
’Tis easy for our God, We know,
To raise thee up, though low thou liest,
To make the rich man poor and low.
True wonders still by Him are wrought
Who setteth up and brings to naught.

Sing, pray, and keep His ways unswerving,
Perform thy duties faithfully,
And trust His Word: though undeserving,
Thou yet shalt find it true for thee.
God never yet forsook in need
The soul that trusted Him indeed.



Blessed Hour of Prayer

I rarely write multiple posts in one day. Sometimes I will feel like writing a lot and will have a spell of two posts a day, but rarely – perhaps even never – three.
Well, here’s my third post for the day.
I have been praying much about sharing another, but felt very impressed in my spirit to do so.
Again on the subject of prayer – or rather, on talking to The Lord Jesus; keeping up a communion with Him through out the day.
The Lord is truly impressing on my spirit how important to the Christian’s daily life a constant communion with Him is. It’s like feeding our own natural bodies. We would never starve ourselves, but so often we starve our spirits by not feeding ourselves on our Heavenly Bread, the Life of Jesus.

Fanny J. Crosby’s beautiful hymn, written so many years ago, speak my feelings so perfectly. It’s one of my favorite songs.

’Tis the blessèd hour of prayer, when our hearts lowly bend,
And we gather to Jesus, our Savior and Friend;
If we come to Him in faith, His protection to share,
What a balm for the weary, O how sweet to be there!

’Tis the blessèd hour of prayer, when the Savior draws near,
With a tender compassion His children to hear;
When He tells us we may cast at His feet every care,
What a balm for the weary, O how sweet to be there!

’Tis the blessèd hour of prayer, when the tempted and tried
To the Savior Who loves them their sorrow confide;
With a sympathizing heart He removes every care;
What a balm for the weary, O how sweet to be there!

At the blessèd hour of prayer, trusting Him, we believe
That the blessing we’re needing we’ll surely receive;
In the fullness of the trust we shall lose every care;
What a balm for the weary, O how sweet to be there.


Blessèd hour of prayer, blessèd hour of prayer,
What a balm for the weary, O how sweet to be there!

To be in constant communion with Jesus is not an unnatural feat. It’s something that should come very easily to even the youngest of believers.

To know Him, talk to Him, rely on Him – as the source of our lives, happiness, safety, and future day by day enables us, as believers, to live above the trials and troubles – no matter how big or how small – that He places in our circumstances.

Such as the trouble that came our family’s way tonight.
It wasn’t huge or harmful, though it could have been very easily.

Lordwilling, I’ll share that little story tomorrow.
I think I’ve written enough today. 🙂


A Song from Sunday

I have heard this song many times over the course of my romance with the family music tradition of bluegrass gospel. I had no idea it was in our hymnal all that time!
I played it at least three times and sang it yesterday, and also played it for our evening worship service.
Oh that Jesus would grant us stars in our crowns!


I am thinking today of that beautiful land
I shall reach when the sun goeth down;
When through wonderful grace by my Savior I stand,
Will there be any stars in my crown?

In the strength of the Lord let me labor and pray,
Let me watch as a winner of souls,
That bright stars may be mine in the glorious day,
When His praise like the sea billow rolls.

O what joy it will be when His face I behold,
Living gems at his feet to lay down!
It would sweeten my bliss in the city of gold,
Should there be any stars in my crown.


Will there be any stars, any stars in my crown
When at evening the sun goeth down?
When I wake with the blest in the mansions of rest
Will there be any stars in my crown?

Elizabeth E. Hewitt 1897

Lift Your Eyes to Jesus


I wish I were back home with my family on our little farm; instead I am in the city working in a business I feel is not the best for our family.
But only Jesus knows; and He knows what is best for each of us each day.

Lift your eyes to Jesus, where there’s a higher power. He’ll be a comfort in life’s darkest hour. Do unto others as you have them do to you. Then you’ll be rewarded for the things in life you do.

Lord, It Belongs Not to My Care

Lord, it belongs not to my care
Whether I die or live;
To love and serve Thee is my share,
And this Thy grace must give.

If life be long, I will be glad,
That I may long obey;
If short, yet why should I be sad
To welcome endless day?

Christ leads me through no darker rooms
Than He went through before;
He that unto God’s kingdom comes
Must enter by this door.

Come, Lord, when grace hath made me meet
Thy blessèd face to see;
For if Thy work on earth be sweet
What will Thy glory be!

Then I shall end my sad complaints
And weary sinful days,
And join with the triumphant saints
That sing my Savior’s praise.

My knowledge of that life is small,
The eye of faith is dim;
But ’tis enough that Christ knows all,
And I shall be with Him.

Richard Baxter


A Song for Sunday


There’s a long black train
Coming down the line
Feeding off the souls that are lost and crying
Tails of sin only evil remains
Watch out brother for that long Black Train

Look to the heavens
You can look to the skies
You can find redemption
Staring back into your eyes
There is protection and there’s peace the same burnin your ticket for that Long Black Train

Cause there’s victory in the Lord I say
Victory in the Lord
Cling to the Father and His Holy Name
And don’t go ridin on that long Black Train

There’s an engineer on that Long Black Train
Makin you wonder if the ride is worth the pain
He’s just a waitin on your heart to say
Let me ride on that long black train

But you know there’s victory in the Lord I say
Victory in the Lord
Cling to the Father and His Holy Name
And don’t go ridin on that long Black Train

Well I can hear the whistle from a mile away
It sounds so good
But I must stay away
That train is a beauty making everybody stare
But its only destination is the middle of nowhere

But you know there’s victory in the Lord I say
Victory in the Lord
Cling to the Father and His Holy Name
And don’t go ridin on that long Black Train

I said cling to the Father and His Holy Name and don’t go ridin on that black train
Yes watch out brother for that long black train
The devils a drivin that long black train.

Josh Turner

Lessons we learn

A here while back, I will confess, I was very frustrated and angered ~ and sad, and mad, and confused, and worried, and exhausted, and anything else you can say that would mean a very-unhappy-discontent-and-hard-to-get-along-with-individual ~ about my life in general.
I wrote a post during this time that – even more than I knew – exposed my feelings perfectly. I didn’t mean to make myself so open, and have since a little regretted and a little appreciated it, and a very great deal learned from it.

I’ve never sought or desired to be one of those blogger’s whose life is a fairy-tale. So many bloggers I’ve seen only put the cheery, good parts of their lives up for inspection, and when you visit their blogs you get the feeling that these people never have anything wrong, never struggle, never worry, never argue.
I certainly don’t support laying all your problems out for the world to see; just to cry on someone’s shoulder so-to-speak. But I think a certain degree of the real-world is necessary.
I guess this is the writer-side of me talking; the one that likes the reality, the darker characters, the troubled stories.
I just want my blog to be real – show the real, sometimes faithless, jealous, struggling person that I am, instead of always the happy, joyful, full-of-praise part that seems to naturally come out whenever I’m around strangers.
I want people to see that, though I trust in the Lord Jesus and always try to seek Him in my life and depend on Him for Breath and Nourishment in each step of it, there are those times when I just sit and cry and wonder, “What for? What am I doing this for? What’s the purpose? Why!” or “Why do they treat me like this? What have I done?” or “What’s wrong with me?” or a dozen other questions we may ask ourselves in times of pain and trials.
I am human.
Not just a fairy-tale-live-in-a-mushroom-blogger.

So…enough of what the Lord taught me about blogging through A post with a rather different tone.

A few weeks after writing that post, I was still struggling with the same thing.
Of course, our situation had changed, jobs had come and gone (and not at all like I had expected/predicted), and life had changed.
But I was still struggling.
See, I was raised from about nine years old to when I was about twenty, with a family who all stayed at home. We did our schoolwork at home, Daddy worked at home because we would buy a run-down house, live there while he and Mama fixed it up, then in a year or at most two, we would sell it and move on. We never lived in the same place above two years. We’d use the money from the house we sold to buy another house of lesser value, have a little money left over, and then fix up the house we had bought.
None of us dreamed of ever working away from home – even when things got tough, we just prayed and trudged on through. Eventually the house we lived in would sell and we’d move to a new one with money enough to live on and keep the lights going – that was enough for us.
My sister and I didn’t worry about moving, never thought of the pain of leaving our friends, or not being able to be where we loved being anymore. We didn’t go to public school, the only friends we had were each other and our animals. Of course, we did occasionally meet girls our age (at one house I remember this; some girls who lived across the street took to coming over every day and riding bike for a while), but they were never like us, many of them were unbelievers, and we never really got along. So…it didn’t hurt our feelings any to leave these places. It was more an adventure – moving to a new house, seeing our new rooms, the new yards…new everything.
But I’m off the subject.
This constant at-home-ness inbred in me a feeling of place; of belonging. I belonged at home. I dreamt of one day marrying, staying at home caring for the house and little ones, and living on a big farm where my husband’s work was in the fields or cattle yards.
I hated the thought of college. As a young girl my happiest wish was to say I made it through life without the world’s so-necessary education. (I still feel this way.)
But we’ve lived here, at our home, for six years now.
We tried to do the same thing we always did, and sell the house after fixing it up, but due to unforeseen problems (including the economic slump) our house never would sell. We tried for two or three years, and it never would sell.
Of course, that led us to a problem. Our source of income was zip. And we still had as many bills – and more – as when we came here. We had to find a way to make a living somehow. We all fought it for a very long time, but eventually we knew, if we were going to keep our home, we’d have to go out and make a living – away from our beloved farm.

If you have been following my blog for very long, you should remember when my Dad passed his General Contractor’s exam and got his NC Contractor’s license, and then went on to get his SC license as well. That was the beginning of the long road we’re now travelling, becoming contractors for the City here near where we live, renovating low-income homes for the government.
Ever since work started I have kicked and balked against it. Not because I didn’t want to work {who does though? 🙂 } but because I didn’t like how much it changed our lives, and how it seemed to bring us back to our old life – the life we had before we knew the Lord.
(Daddy was a licensed General Contractor years ago and ran a business etc. We were born into that world, and it consumed our family in such a way that I hate all the memories of my earlier years.)
I didn’t want this to drag us back into what we were before.
I still fear this, and pray daily for the Lord’s Hand upon us and upon our work.
But, since my frustrated post of last November 27th, the Lord has been teaching me about my own view of our work, my own out-look on it and on life in general.
I used to think that I embraced change. I thought change meant rearranging your bedroom, eating supper in the living room instead of the dinning room, or washing dishes by hand instead of the dishwasher.
My idea of change was ever so wrong.
I do not take life changes easily – at all.
That I’ve found to my great sorrow. I fight against anything that changes my schedule or my routine, I argue against anything that rearranges my life (not my room), and struggle with anything that takes us away from home.
I still think that home is where I belong; cleaning, cooking, sewing, working with the goats, planting gardens (however poorly), writing.
How can I write when I’m painting!!!
This is where the Lord’s lesson through my November post came to me. It came slowly – ever so slowly.

Remember a few Thankful Thursdays ago I thanked the Lord for leading me to read Nehemiah? 
Well, this is what I had reference to. 
In Nehemiah, the author has led the remnant into Jerusalem and, despite adversity, they are rebuilding the wall of the city. They toil night and day, weapons in hand, to rebuild the wall of the city of the Lord.
The part the Lord blessed me with was the work of the priests. The most holy segment of the Lord’s people at the time ‘picked up their hammers’ (so to speak! 🙂 and worked with their hands to build the wall of the Lord. 
He spoke to me as I read this. 
If they worked thus, why shouldn’t I?
I’m sure they didn’t like what they did. They didn’t enjoy building that wall. But it was the Lord’s will for their lives at that given moment in time -just like His Will, so it seems, for our lives just now is to work in renovating these homes for the under-privileged. 
I mightn’t think its where I belong – but its where the Lord Jesus has placed me. 
Reading the story of the priests in Nehemiah strengthened me to His Will so much. I realized that life changes, and though it isn’t always easy at first, sometimes these changes are His will. Sometimes the challenges – the things we think are too dangerous – are His intent for us. When we think its against our nature; its according to His nature. 
I still don’t like construction work – I’m a girl, for heaven’s sake! – but I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else. I’ve begun to see the blessings in this work; like I mentioned before. While the goats were kidding K and I didn’t go to work for a whole week – didn’t loose our jobs because of it. If we’re sick, we don’t have to call in sick; we just don’t go. If something happens and we need to be somewhere else, we just all pick up and go – no worrying about the boss. 
There’s still responsibility. We have a deadline to meet. We have work that must be done in a certain length of time. The money isn’t tops, per se. We bid a round sum; none of us are paid by the hour, Carra and I individually don’t get paid, as paying goes. We all work for a common cause, if there’s anything to spare, we two may get some – and it goes immediately to supporting the goats. There’s no hoarding funds in this family. But there’s also no room and board paid to parents either. 
Without forth-pouring our entire financial situation, are you beginning to get a small picture? 
Though I hope one day to make money through my stories, and Carra and I hope one day to have a working farm to support of family(s) through, we still must make money now. 
And since we can’t do it at home (or rather, by selling our home!) anymore, we must go out and make it, in the same profession we were raised in. 
I’d rather do this than be bound to a 9-5 schedule on someone else’s time, doing work I don’t really like to do – getting yelled at each time I send a text, or check-in on facebook because I’m on the clock. 🙂 
Though I don’t like the work, I like it better than anything else I can see just now, and the Lord has created this way for us. 
Like the priests in Nehemiah, He has called us – or me, rather, since I’ve had such a fight against it – to pick up my hammer and accept the change He’s given me in this new time of my life. 
Childhood is over – days of sitting and just writing and playing piano are gone. In my early twenties its time to pick up and ‘move’ in my mind – to a different pasture; where I have to browse instead of just graze around my feet. 
And actually, since Jesus has shown me this, I am more and more enjoying this new life. 
Actually I found myself looking forward to work beginning again after the goats had finished their kidding. I look forward to the weekends when we’re at home, but then I look forward to Mondays – the Lord has given me a set time for writing now; mainly on workdays! I never imagined my writing time would improve through having to be away from home!

I still have my fears. Particularly about this work dragging us back into what we were before. 
Before we had a business, we worked to build that business, and be successful. 
Now, we only have a business because its necessary if we work in the city to have some sort of name to go under. Our business name is Yeshua’s Builders – Yeshua being Hebrew for Joshua, which is Greek for Jesus. We’re working under our Lord’s name. Not building a business, or trying to be successful  Just trying to pay the bills and buy groceries, and goat feed.  
I pray it stays this way. 
Just as I have seen that this bane is actually a blessing from my Jesus for my life personally, may we all see that this work is for Him, not ourselves. Not for the business, not for expanding, not for being contractors, doing good work, or making a name for ourselves. Its for honoring our Jesus, we’re working under His Name. He’s given it to us to make a living by. And that’s all. 
May Jesus bless everyone this beautiful Sunday!


Well…I have tried.
I’ve wanted to write a blogpost; I truly have. I love keeping a blog, I love praying for a topic, writing a post, getting up pictures.
I tried to write one this morning at six-forty-five or so, I started another at about three-forty this evening. I’ve dug through my pictures, I have thoughts on a subject, I have an idea for the format.
But it just won’t come.
I can’t concentrate, I’m exhausted – not tired, exhausted – and I guess I have one of those terrible cases of the lazy-writer-syndrome. I’m aching all over from the week’s work at the job and from working the goats’ today, my allergies are acting up with this beautiful spring-like weather we’re having, my head hurts, my lips are chaffed from all the wind and are burning like fire, and we still have evening chores to do.
I should be writing in my barn records.
I should be writing some long-over-due letters I’ve been neglecting (for literally months; so much for loving writing!).
I should be working on my story.
I should be practicing piano or violin.
If I’m not going to do any of this writerly/musician type stuff…
I should be planning our garden.
I should be planting our herbs, carrots, onions, garlic, cabbage, lettuce, celery (which are already very late for getting in here in SC).
I should be cleaning our bathroom.
I should be unloading the dishwasher.
But I just don’t feel like it.
Anyone else ever feel that way?
I just don’t feel like doing anything.

Its one of those beautiful early spring days. Cool enough, with the breeze, to sometimes feel like you need a sweater, but warm enough, in the sun, to sometimes feel like you need to jump in the pond and go for a dip. The sun is coming and going, but the clouds aren’t bright and puffy – they’re more like rain clouds trying to all group together and create a nice storm. 
And its been a beautiful Saturday. 
  • Morning chores (includes feeding, watering, milking, bottle-feeding, checking on sickies, giving hay (and alfalfa), refilling water, straining and pasteurizing milk)
  • A family came to buy a couple kids; stayed about an hour. 
  • Doc came; TB, Brucellosis, and CAE tests done (filling in papers, catching and holding goats, drawing blood and doing the TB prick test on each one) plus sickies looked at and instructions given on care and meds for each.
  • Doc left; instructed meds given, goats let out, electric fence turned on.
  • Bread made (and since punched down, formed into loaves, baked, and frozen)
  • Cajeta cooked (and nearly burned, I should add 🙂 
  • Feta put on (and since cut, stirred, and strained)
  • Ten bales of hay taken down to the barn and stacked
  • Kid disbudded
  • Back home, laundry folded and dishes done. 

I love full days – at home, of course! 🙂 Its not so fun in town or at the job.

And I especially love them when there’s time left over to sit down and work on my writing/music and do a little blogging. 
But for some reason, I couldn’t seem to come up with a blog post today!
Though, it seems the Lord has given me one despite my writer’s block. This is as well as any, I guess. 
A little complaining, a little content, a little disconcerted, a little happy. 
I should say a lot happy. 🙂 
So much has been done today – things still linger, needing finished, but the biggies are over with.
Especially all that testing on the herd; that’s been a big weight on my mind! We can’t drink our girls’ milk who haven’t been tested until we get the results back. (TB and Brucellosis can both be contracted by humans through drinking contaminated milk). Our older girls were tested last year, they’re due for another test but it’s been safe enough to drink their milk. We’re pretty sure the younger girls are clean (coming from clean herds), but we have to test. Its mandatory in our books! (And will really be once we’re an up-and-running dairy.) It feels so good to have the whole herd – including our buck – finally done. Now…just to pray for the results. 

I think I’ll skiddy off now and maybe we can get chores done in time for K and I to have a quiet evening watching a movie together and sipping tea. 🙂
Orange-blossom tea….

Thankful Thursday

“O give thanks unto the Lord; for He is good: for His mercy endureth forever.”
Psalms 136:1
I’ve only missed one Thankful Thursday post but it seems like I’ve already missed two or three!
I can hardly believe that, as of this morning, the kidding season at Goshen’s Plenty has officially closed.
Our last doe kidded early this morning with a still-born buckling. 
A full blooded, beautifully formed Saanen kid.
And the first still born on our farm.
Needless to say, this kidding season has, by far, been the hardest on our farm – even with just ten does.
The Lord is blessing our little farm to grow slowly and we’re learning a lot along the way, though some of the lessons haven’t been so easy.
These past couple weeks have been very labor intensive; like a crash course in new-mothering. 🙂
Having animals to care for is a lot like being a mother, and kidding season is a lot like being a new mother (with a dozen new babies) – except our children are outside, and not quite so fragile. 😀
But even with all the difficulties, and sometimes heartbreaks, we still have a lot to be thankful for!
Our girls are healthy. Even Princess, whom we were having serious concerns about, is doing much better.
We’ve lost a couple kids, and a precious doe, but we’ve gained experience – in the hard side of farming.
And Daisy’s passing has blessed us – though it is a bitter blessing – in other ways, too. 
We now have a free heart to move our herd over into fully registered stock. 
If all goes well, our unregistered does (formerly so endeared to us through Daisy) 
will be up for sale before next breeding season.

So, this Thankful Thursday, I am thankful to my precious Savior Jesus for;
  • New life. New life for our farm, all the bouncy babies that were born this season and are doing splendidly, and the new life for us – a refocus of our farming endeavors.
  • New experience. Though its been very hard at times, we have learned so much through the heartbreaks of this kidding season.
  • Four new doelings we will be able to keep on the farm – for a while anyway. 🙂 
  • Fresh, rich, nutritious, pure goats’ milk for the bottle babies and for us too! 
  • Moments of rest.
  • Fresh bread just out of the oven.
  • Warm meals.
  • An ease off in the rain
  • Dear family. So near, and so far. All of you have been here to support us through this difficult time of work, loss, blessing, and learning. 

We are so thankful to the Lord Jesus for each and every one of you, and love you all so dearly! 

  •  Friends. Mainly through facebook we’ve kept up with friends around the world and here in the US who’ve helped, encouraged, and prayed for us through this time. A hug to everyone of you!!

  • For smiles. Think where we’d be – and where the world would be! – without the ability to smile! 
I pray you all have a very happy Thankful Thursday!
What are you thankful for today?

Monday Meditations

Every morning after I’m a little awake, and have poured my first cup of coffee (smile)
I read in my Lord’s Word. 
I pray as I read, seeking to hear some Word from Him, to glean some 
knowledge and be fed in my spirit for the day ahead. 
Yet, even with my prayer and reading in the mornings, lately I have felt farther from Him than before.
This feeling has been going on for several months. 
I know the cause lies a great deal in my own slackness – my preoccupation with life, my writing,
our work and farm. So often I find myself starving my spirit, pushing my reading
and study to the back shelf – thinking of it as something that takes up time, instead of as something
that makes the rest of my time in a day meaningful and profitable
I know many of you can probably associate with me in these feelings and shortcomings.
This morning I was finishing the last chapter of Luke (my favorite Gospel). 
Up until today, there were no pen marks in the last chapter of Luke in my Bible – though the rest of the 
Book is littered with scribbles and underlining. 
But I was praying this morning and in the story of Jesus meeting the two disciples on the 
road after his resurrections, the Lord opened my eyes to a simple thought that could mean a lot if my 
heart is open and I am not too preoccupied with myself to hear Him. 
Oh that I may be open to His Words!
It is always interesting to me how the disciples did not recognize Jesus. 
They went on talking to Him in verses 15-31 and did not know who He was – even through His 
expounding the Scriptures. It wasn’t until He broke bread to eat it that they saw Who He was.
Then He vanished from their sight. 
But isn’t this sort of like we are?
The Lord Jesus hears our prayers. 
I know I have been praying a lot lately – seeking Him, desiring His Blessings, His nourishing. 
Just like those disciples who were wanting to see Jesus after His resurrection. 
They talked to Him about how they had hoped this Jesus who had died had been the One to 
save Israel. They shared their discouragement and saddness with Him – even telling Him that this was the
third day and they still had not seen Him; they were giving up hope.
Jesus rebuked them – even roughly. 
“Oh fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken.”
Can you believe they still did not recognize Him? Even after all those years of His rebuking them for 
their unbelief during His time of ministry. 
But isn’t that how we are? 
So caught up with ourselves, our work, our sufferings, our problems 
that we don’t recognize Him – even when He IS working in our lives, IS teaching us, IS drawing us 
closer to Himself everyday through the things He brings us through.
But Jesus still loves us. 
Just like those unbelieving disciples. 
He went in to their house to stay with them, to eat with them. 
He still dwell within us, still lives in us, still gives us our breath. He doesn’t just give up on us. 
He keeps working.
Sometimes He has to break the bread for us to finally recognize His place in our lives. 
I pray I may listen to His rebuke and His expounding the Scriptures.
Let us be more sensitive to our Lord.
Remember His still, small voice. 
This noise and clutter of life is not important.
We must hear His still, small voice.